Oct 10
Ian Hodgson Relay
Brett to Russ
“I completely agree Russ, the third leg on the relay is the make or break leg. You need the teams strongest runners on 3″
Jul 09
Sat in the Bay Horse, after the Oxenhope Fell Race
Salima “Trish, what would you like to drink?”
Trish “Beer, Derrr!”
Dec 08
Will Smith just took part in a 150m sprint against his work Colleague Ben Foster. Ben is an ex-international hockey player in fairness, however, he is now weighing in at just under 13stone at a height of just 5ft 8 putting him officially in the bracket of over weight!
The self proclaimed best runner in Keighley, Smith, felt extremely confident heading into the race which had the forfeit of 10 free shots with a squash ball and racket to the naked body from just 5m away! Foster, who was also quietly confident went into the race underdog with all other colleagues placing their money firmly on William Barry Smith.
Prior to the race both competitors jogged to the start line leaving 3 eager spectators by the finishing post. Smith controversially got off to a flyer being in the position to self start the race. He gained a couple of meters advantage before the bulging thighs of Foster started to pump, at 50m Foster turned on the NOS and Smith saw nothing but smoke from there to the finish line.
The ever confident Smith fell to the ground deflated and silenced as Foster basked in the glory of beating the Worlds, i mean Englands, i mean North Englands, i mean Yorkshires, i mean west yorkshires, i mean keighleys, i mean Haworths, oh sorry, finally i mean second best runner in Sports UK!!
Reported live from the Sports Uk HQ, Written by Winner and not gloating, Ben Foster
Nov 08
Victoria ascending to Stoodley Pike, the 121-foot monument that stands on the moors above Todmorden.
Victoria “Is that Stoodley Pike?”
Much falling about giggling from the rest of the party.
Oct 08
The following email received form Russ after a usual Wednesday night run and post run drinks
timed at 20 mins past midnight
Definition of friendship………………………one who never leaves his/her friends alone in the “pub” with Hamer. Tell me tomorrow aint a work day!
Phone call received from Russ at mid day
“Woke up this morning, the sun was shining, I didn’t feel too bad, looked at my watch, bloody hell, it’s ten to eight, I’m late for work. Looked again, to discover it was in fact ten to nine!! I blame it on Hamer, who’s last comment to me on leaving the pub last night was “Sleep Tight”!!”
Oct 08
Brett to Sue as she had completed the Bronte Way (inc taking a tumble!) and was about to run home..
B: You are a tough old bird
S: (with a steely stare) I think the word you are looking for is resilient!
Jun 08
At the end of a leg of the Millennium Way, Pete and Des has just run a blinder. As they crossed the line Des fell into a heap whilst Pete was bent double trying not to feel sick as he thought of the fast leg he’d just run.
After a second or so Des looked at his watch and stated that he had, in fact, run that leg with Tim Clegg some 7 mins quicker.
Pete is now in the fridge, light off, in fear…
May 08
Conversation at Kildwick Fell Race;
Dave: Are you running tonight Andy?
Andy: No, I haven?t been able to run for a month because of the pain in my knees.
Three days later Andy set off on the Yoredale 100 mile challenge, unable to run because of his knees, he walked, completing the event in a remarkable 41 hours.
May 08
Now Then Brett,
How was the Jack Bloor last night?
I gather it started at 7:15 last night and not 7:30. As you lot were disappearing up the hills of Ilkley I was quietly eating a banana in my car. Got to the start at 7:25 and there you all were – GONE!
F*ck.
Chris Cheetham
Feb 07
Don’t rely on Andy Kitts for navigation:
Andy apologising to Fraser “Sorry I didn’t make it to the house warming. I was in Cononley wandering up and down with a four pack but I couldn’t find the house”
Hamer
A four pack?
Wasn’t he stopping?
Dec 06
Lenny to Zip…
“You never do races for the club”
Full KCAC 2006 Cross Country Entrants
WEST YORKSHIRE CHAMPIONSHIPS 1
*JONES, Adrian*
MCCLEAN, Adam
BEDELL, Nigel
SHAW, Dave
WHITTINGHAM, Neville
WEST YORKSHIRE CHAMPIONSHIPS 2
*JONES, Adrian *
WHITTINGHAM, Neville
WEST YORKSHIRE CHAMPIONSHIPS 3
*JONES, Adrian *
BEDELL, Nigel
WHITTINGHAM, Neville
NORTH OF ENGLAND CHAMPIONSHIPS
*A Jones *
YORKSHIRE VETS CHAMPIONSHIPS
DARREN BRAME
*ADRIAN JONES*
NIGEL BEDELL
MARTIN HORBURY
SHAUN WILKINSON
TIM CLEGG
RICHARD BALLANTINE
YORKSHIRE CHAMPIONSHIPS
Christopher Loftus
*Adrian Jones*
Steve McDermott
Nigel Bedell
Will Smith
Shaun Wilkinson
Mark Clarkson
David Shaw
Peter Bramham
Richard Ballentine
Steven Curtis
Dave Ramsden
WHAT HAVE THE ROMANS EVER DONE FOR US – SPRINGS TO MIND!!!
16-09-06
Weekend Away
The running highlight the day had apparently been marked by a lagging and knackered Colin catching up the frisky leaders and shouting “what the f**k is all the hurry? People at the back could get lost!! We’ve got all day!!”
He later expanded on this theme, saying “how many times have I stopped and waited for you?” (to which the communal and immediate answer was “none”!)
09-12-05
Christmas Party
From Paul Smithson
At the “do”? I was in the gents , when an affable Russ walked in – stood at the urinal next to me and said in a slightly inebriated way “This is that time of night when it gets to the point that you have to rest your head on the wall when peeing”. He then proceeded to do this.
I agreed, then checked my watch – 8.40pm!
I was impressed that by this time the atmosphere of the venue felt like it was 2.00am in a nightclub. Not sure if that was the ability of members to drink a lot or just get pissed quickly, can you advise?
16-10-05
Classic statement by Steve Curtis…
at the York XC
Nev: I haven’t entered the race
Steve: Use someone else’s number
Nev: I’m not right fit at the moment
Steve: It’s not about the running, it’s about having an extra 40 minutes without Debbie nagging you!!
09-09-05
It’s not often you see Charlie lost for words but this short conversation overheard by the entire pub seemed to do the trick!
After the World Masters we retired to the Twa Dogs for a debrief where Charlie (as he does) engaged the Landlord in some idle chit-chat. . . .
Charlie: “You’ve got a bit of a funny accent”.
Landlord: “So what, you’ve got a funny hair-cut”.
Entire pub: “loud, unrestrained laughter”
Charlie: total silence + major blush.
12-09-05
Excellent quote from our new sporting educational and PE advisor CrispyDuk on the last day of the historic Ashes Series:
JD: Pieterson’s out (as England’s hero shakes hands with Aussie legend Shane Warne)
CP: Was he bowled by that fat Australian?…..!!!!!
25-07-05
Confusion must have reigned over what happened the Wensleydale Winner!
During the Monday night run, whilst reflecting on a great day Charlie remarked
“I must have had a good session I don’t even remember leaving the Boltmakers”.
The ever sharp Chris P was quick to say that’s probably because we never went to the Boltmakers!.
Some people may have also thought they heard Keep say that he was up for running the Bob Graham next year and as everybody knows Keep doesn’t do fells, the best roadrunner in the club needs to concentrate on the Brampton to Carlisle first!
23-07-05
Wensleydale Winner
As the day drew to a close and all were coming out of the last stop (The Old Hall) on the way back to Keighley confusion reigned somewhat. There were bags and equipment all over the place.
Eric Fawcett was overhear to say that he had in fact got a bag on all three busses.
Strange that because we’d only got two!
10-07-05
After the running of the Morton Gala Fell Race Jonnie Butler was overhead to say that whilst Russ was victorious, his course record was still intact.
“Well, of course it is”, muttered his wife, “youve lengthened the route!?
17-06-05
The strength of the mighty Keighley and Craven!
After the Otley 10, new member Chris was being talked in to running the Millennium Way Relay as all the elite runners had dropped out.
After a couple of pints he relented and said he would run.
Upon returning home in an unexpectedly good mood, Chris bumped into his wife Heather. “I have been selected by the mighty K & C to run in a race on Sunday” he said proudly.
“Absolutely marvellous” came the reply “I’ve heard about the mighty K & C and obviously you put it before your own daughter’s birthday party this Sunday”
Silence reigned
10-06-05
Classic quote from new lad Ricardo after an excellent run in the Full Bronte:
“Yeah, I enjoyed it, and finished just behind that Keighley runner with a perm!”
And who is that runner? None other than our evergreen, tightly curled and coiffured Charles Marshall !!!!
Excellent! The lad will go far!!